I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
