i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
