How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
