Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
