I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
