I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
