you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
