What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
