Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
