help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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