I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
