It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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