Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
