i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
