I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
