Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
