I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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