yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
