My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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