We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
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