I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
