My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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