Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
