you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
