how can u be prego again
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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