If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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