im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
