Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
