dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The power of my boobs compel you
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
