I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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