i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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