We should be called the Road Head Warriors
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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