I like my sex mixed with concussions.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
