I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
