So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
