i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
