hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
