This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
