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On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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