dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
