Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
