i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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