My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I intend to get homeless drunk
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
