imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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