There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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