I'm so fucking centered right now
Apparently you make a good broom.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think people are normalizing furries
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize