She is in my trunk
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
