Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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