Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
