Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
