i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
wow bdsm is so cute
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
