Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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