My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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